Thank you everclear. You made a perfect song to describe me and my father. The lines "Daddy gave me a name then he walked away" Exactly right. Except it should go like this "Daddy gave me a name then he walked away and got arrested" Better! "Father of mine tell me where have you been" Where have you been dad? Oh wait i know... In jail, In montana, Fighting with my mother, Make a new family in montana, You decide to come back in 5th grade its not normal dude. especially when you rarely make contact with someone.
Fathers are supposed to be there for you. Be there to bring out the shot gun when you meet a new boy and he questions them. There supposed to say good night to you. Give you an allounce and yell at you when you come in the house at 2am ( not that id perfer that). They are supposed to be there for you and your mom and your siblings. Did you know that 78% of fathers leave. Yeah. Big one there. But to believable. You never hear anyone say there mother up and left do you? Rarely. Most kids say i live with my mom or they say i live with my grandparents.
Parenting is supposed to be something special. I obviously dont have kids, but ive been surrounded by terrible and good parents all my life and ive taken enough child classes to know. Parents take advantage of what they have. not all parents of course ,because ive met some really good parents, but most parents dont relize what they really have in their lives. They NEED to be there for their child.. Its critical for the first years of life.
If you dont want a child simply use protection or dont have sex. Simple. If you are then you need to prepare your life for that possible child. Im no smart kid and im not preaching anything to you. But i have experienced first hand what its like to have parents that dont want kids. I was an accident child and i fully know that. I know my parents couldnt take care of me because they didnt have the skills or the enviornment. But i applaud my mother for at least staying in the town.
Just think before you mess up your lifes people.
Think.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Untiled. Thats what ill keep it as.
So im listening to this song right? Its like the perfect song to dedicate to micheal.
Whos michael? If you dont know its the boy i fell for from february 3rd 2010 to sometime in august
I relize i talk about how i miss him alot. Okay i get, get over him brittnee im almost there.
I just need to blog once about him and ill be okay alright? No one reads my blog anyway..
Heres a list of good things he brought to my life:
Whos michael? If you dont know its the boy i fell for from february 3rd 2010 to sometime in august
I relize i talk about how i miss him alot. Okay i get, get over him brittnee im almost there.
I just need to blog once about him and ill be okay alright? No one reads my blog anyway..
Heres a list of good things he brought to my life:
- Love, he made feel so loved i was in a fairytale relationship. Like a dream. Ya know when you dream of laying under the stars, staying up all night, kissing in the rain, the snow, exploring everywhere with a guy, Practically living with him. He spent the night here or i was there. Everything youve dreamed of i prolly did with him. I mean you loved me like i had never been loved before. You understood so much. You helped me through alot. You were there for me when my grandma dee died, you were there when my grandma fought with me. You held me at night, Kissed me good night, always said you loved me. I admit we both took it for granted.
- Family, Yeah i wasn't THAT close with his great grandma. But his grandma and mom and sisters were so rad. His mom understood all of it. She was going through pain and she still wanted to hangout with us. haha. She loves Soy milk and organic food (cuz she had to) But we both love coconut. His grandma understood my love for god and talked about my church life with me. His sisters loved me. Theyre little monsters. I miss that mostly. Not necessarily him, More his family. I felt as though i had a family close to me.
- Fun. Yeah crazy awesome fun! I had the craziest summer of my life because of him. I went camping numerous times, Warped tour, enchanted forest, swimming, exploring the country land around him, Playing with llamas, Omsi, The movies, Sleeping outside, Seeing his silky chickens grow, I pet a rooster (ricardo), We talked about staying together for forever. I did so much! It was amazing.. Besides the fighting
- Friends, I made new friends. Caleb, Nick, Tyler, Aaron, Cody, All fantastic people that i wouldnt know without knowing michael. Some of my greatest adventuers happened with them there. Caleb and me were always the sober ones. haha. Nick insulted me in the funniest ways. We had so much fun.
- Drugs and alcohol, He was and is addicted to Weed and drinks. I learned not to smoke weed, not to spend my money on stupid drug. You spent every bit of money you earned just about on weed. When you didnt have weed you about shit yourself. You NEEDED it. I think it was to escape your life. You werent always happy. I felt obligated to do some of the stuff i did. You ask me to smoke with you and i would say no, You say why not? Id say because i dont want to. You day But why? Give me a reason. That is one thing that royally pissed me off. On my birthday you about begged to go get your weed! ON MY BIRTHDAY!
- Arguing, You blamed me for all of it. But infact you caused a large portion of the fights. Why? Because you dont have a sense of wrong when your involved. You really dont. You think its okay to go get shit faced with girls who you fingered last time you were drunk. Every drunk story you told me you either did sexual things or lit something on fire. hmmm. There were so many aruments, i guess relationships all have arguments. But you just dont see any wrong in anything you did. You wouldnt really discuss anything. Your family thought it was alllll me because you woudnt tell what you did. You thought you did no wrong. Your great grandma hated me because you couldnt tell them the real reason i didnt feel comfortable with you being alone with Quincy. They didnt know the real story of anything! I can garuntee they wouldve been on my side if the did.
- Possesiveness, You thought i was controlling? Oh no. You made me delete every single guy off my facebook, Myspace and almost my twitter. MY TWITTER! You were jealous of CELEBRITIES!! You hated EVERY single boy i was friends with. Friends, Keyword there. I had no feelings for any other guy but YOU. You accused me of liking Caleb, Nick AND Tyler oh and Job. Any time your friends were around or i met a new one you would ask " Do you like him? " The one time i ask you that you flip a bitch. I only asked you to delete all of the girls on your myspace because you didnt know but TEN of the 700! I asked once, You did it out of the blue cuz you wanted to. I wasnt gonna ask anymore. You asked a majority of your ex's do do the same. Oh and dont let me forget when you asked me first not to text guys. Yeah. Anytime i got a text you ask "Who's that?" I'd reply. You wouldnt believe me. Youd say "really?" Like i was a stupid shit. You even stole my phone while i was out of the room to check one day. I got a text that morning from an old friend who i didnt have feelings for that said HELLO! and you said you were pissed and going home. The other reason you were mad was because everyone had contact pictures. Why? Because phone can do that.. woopty doo.
- Bad ending, Yeah very bad ending. Not only did we break up twice before the final ending and i begged for you back, yes i did. Because I LOVED YOU. But it ended bad. Terribly bad the time before the final ending we were on the phone balling our eyes out. Because we both loved each other and didnt want it to end. The final ending.. My fault. Everyone was telling me " Break up with him now or ill do it for you" I didnt want to, i never wanted to. But the bad things kept popping up. We couldve fixed everything if we both put in effort. But it ended to badly. Ill admit it was my fault you never knew what really happened. Truth is.. Your buddy cody came over and convinced me you werent good for me. I told him you put me down alot, You did. I was never good enough. Ya you told me i was beautiful constantly and i loved that. But i wasnt up to your complete standards because i wouldnt get drunk with you constantly or ever smoke pot. You would constantly tell me i needed to be more chill. That i wouldnt fit in with your friends. That you couldnt take me to a party because i would bore you and bring the party mood down. Yeah. Right. Well cody, you see he came over (as i said) and llistened to it all i told him that you put me down. Know what he said? Your friend said That wasnt right and that he saw no flaws. He convinced me. I wish that night wouldnt have happend. Because me and you were slowely fixing out problems. Cody broke up with me a month later anyway.When we talked after we broke up you told me you werent happy what so ever. You never were. That you never had fun. Really? Thats a damn lie right there. You were always smiling when we were together. We laughed till we about pee'd ourselves. You were happy. Dont deny it.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Impact.
If youve mad an impact in my life your in this blog., whether it be good or bad. ( in no particular order)
Cody Davis- Your a cool guy you really are :) I liked you bunches, Your really exciting to be around and swimming was fun. But remember that night you came over at like 2am ish? We lasted a month. Yeahh.. Now i dont wanna be rude so dont think thats what im trying to be, but i sorta wish you didnt comeover that night.. I just, AH! It ended up not working out.. But thats the past. We need to hangout again.
Nick Estis- Nick, nick, nick, You are a wonderful man :) English is fun! ha. I like that i can talk about anything to you. Your definitly one of my best friends. We've helped each other through ALOT. I know we didnt work out, (not our fault..) But you mus'nt leave my life k? :) you have effected my life in a good way. You have been there for me through alot. I like going to panda express with ya x) Oh and your my dance buddy when we work the dances :D I wouldnt ever want that to end!
Daniel Rodriguez- You sir, Are a life saver. Where do i begin. You have impacted my life for the better! I have a guy who i can talk to about EVERYTHING, Yeah you laugh at me alot. But out of love! ha. I remember when Michael broke up with me, i was in your car. I turned to you and said "uhhm michael just broke up with me" and you were really? I was like yeahh.. what the hell. I read you the messages and you laughed! which actually made the situation better, I didnt ball my eyes out. Well until i got home i didnt. But thats beside the point. You flippen awesome! haha.
Jovan Carston- Yeah, You. You started impacting my life in a good way. But that went down hill, now didnt it? You were thee sweetest person i'd ever met. For the begining i thought i was in love (lust). Then you just drop me off the earth.. You dont talk to me anymore at all. You dont reply to my posts, messages, pokes, NOTHING! So jovan.. was i just another foreign girl you decided to toy with? Ha. Figures. I bet you have a wonderful girlfriend in New Zealand who is way better then me. To bad you didnt meet me.
Sierra Thompson- Your a great friend :) Im sorry i didnt hangout with you much at the begining of this year, or over the summer. I was never here. But i will hangout with you more.You have helped me through alot of things, lady! We have alot of great memories. Even when we move apart i will visit you, i promise! Plus we have cake class together, Hell yeah. haha. And we can still air bend FTW :D I love youu.
Alycia Riley- You have been my friend since 2nd grade. Our friendship has slipped :( I hate that. You were my first best friend. Dont slip away from me k? Your wonderful. You know and so does the world. You have impacted my life for the greater i promise you that. Most of my amazing childhood memories involve you! Remember when we used to go to 7 11 at one am? Or when we would turn radio disney up loud at your moms and dance around? x) Greatest times of my life.
Kyle Williams- Oh gosh. Ha. You caused alot of problems in my life. I remember when i first met you. I was in awe by your gorgeous-ness haaha. But little did i know you were a man whore. You made me the other girl the whole time i knew you. Not once did you wanna date me. Kiss me, yes. But nothing official. You flew through girls like i fly through bacon (faast) and one time you cheated with me. My dumb little sophmore self let you. Oh and i would always come crawling back.. Oh dear, But i dont wanna make you feel bad. You said youve changed. I belive you honestly. People mature.
Carmen Fraijo- My best friend. You've heard this all many times so it not new to you fool :) Your thee greatest person ive ever known. Youve made my life fantastic. Youve influenced me in all the right way. Brought me closer to god. You make me happier when im down. Life wouldnt and wont ever be the same without my best friend by my side. When we move eto portland itll be even greater :D
Kyle Harding- since you probably wont see this then ill let my anger out about you. Your such an ass whole. You flirt with me, tell me you really like me, say were gonna date, kiss me, THEN IGNORE ME! WTF! I hate you with the passion.
Tonya Young- Your so exciting x) hahah. Jimmy like to dance dance dance! I love you :) You are a great friend. Remember when i spent the summer with ya? Hell yeaah! That was awesome. We need to continue to hangout more. More big group sleep overs. Im glad to havve joo in muh life!
Michael L.- Former ex.. You impacted my life both good and terrible. Where shall we start aye? Youll never see this cuz you hate me but i need to say it. One of the funnest relationships ive had yet. We were like a fairy tale couple. haha. yeah... besides the fighting, the alcohol, and the drugs you just loved. You tried sooo dang hard for me to change to suit you didnt you? Did it work? NO! I loved you like no other.. I was in love. In real love. But that quickly changed when you cared more about your weed then your girlfriend and when you wanted to go get shit-faced with the girl you did sexual things with while you were drunk. Smart one. Ha.. Then you acuse me of liking your friends. Yeah calebs cute ill admit that. But no. I wouldnt have cheated on you with your bff. haha. whatever.. Yeah i miss you like hell. I miss all those nights. But ill find someone better..
Mom- Hello madre :) You are so awesome. But i wonder every day why you couldnt have just kept me.. Lifes hell here sometimes.. I need my mom. But i cant have her :/ I also wonder why you kept haylee for a long time but not me at all. Did you try and take care of me? i hope.. I wish i could live with you. But im really glad your sober now mom. It means the world to me that i actually get to know the real you. <3 I love you.
Christian Houser- So, I liked you the moment i stepped foot in Mr. Delorenze's government class. Id catch myself looking at you. I couldnt help myself. So i found you on facebook and we proceeded to talk. Not quite sure what we had going on there.. all i know was i liked you to much. Literally everyday now i make myself almost late to class so i dont have to see you and your gf.. no offence. you deserve to be happy.
Brandon Cowling- Ohh dear. Remember math? I finally got the courage to say hello when we were in the same group. But we never really had anything going on. I liked you, i dont think you liked me. I asked you to a dance... you said you would consider it. So theres my answer you never like liked me.
Brian Kyllo- ha. guess what? I liked you when we had english together. I hated that class but boy were you cute. I tried talking to you on facebook but you ignored me. Now you talk to me though :) Your still cute.. shh.
Sarah Hanson- Since 4th grade youve been there for me. Our friendship started to slip when your mother started to hate me... I remember when we would sit in the sand on the baseball field and dig for shells. Good times. Or when we wanted to send nick that stupid birthday in a bottle? we were rad ;D haha. I miss our friendship. Wish i could get it back.
Caleb Davis- So glad we met. Even though you hardly talk to me.. You took me on some of the greatest adventures of my life. You were a big part of my summer. Remember when we went camping with all those random people and everyone was drunk but us? Thanks :) ha.
Nathan roche- We sooo dated in middle school haha. But now your one of my great friends. I enjoy hanging out with you sooo much you have no idea. haha. You are so funny. Truth is i will probably always have a little crush on you haha.
Christopher Mikkelson- You are like my dream guy.. but less asian xD hahaha. Weve had some realllly fun times, Our avatar skills, Staying out till 3 am, decorating the tree, you wearing my peguin pjs ha. :) So glad i met you.
Colton Mock- bet you knew i liek you all through 8th grade. haha. Your were my crush. Oh dear. haha. When i found you on facebook i was like heck yess! Your still so sweet. But i never talked to you really at CMS. Dont stray away from me, fool.
There are so many more people. This is just part one. <3
Cody Davis- Your a cool guy you really are :) I liked you bunches, Your really exciting to be around and swimming was fun. But remember that night you came over at like 2am ish? We lasted a month. Yeahh.. Now i dont wanna be rude so dont think thats what im trying to be, but i sorta wish you didnt comeover that night.. I just, AH! It ended up not working out.. But thats the past. We need to hangout again.
Nick Estis- Nick, nick, nick, You are a wonderful man :) English is fun! ha. I like that i can talk about anything to you. Your definitly one of my best friends. We've helped each other through ALOT. I know we didnt work out, (not our fault..) But you mus'nt leave my life k? :) you have effected my life in a good way. You have been there for me through alot. I like going to panda express with ya x) Oh and your my dance buddy when we work the dances :D I wouldnt ever want that to end!
Daniel Rodriguez- You sir, Are a life saver. Where do i begin. You have impacted my life for the better! I have a guy who i can talk to about EVERYTHING, Yeah you laugh at me alot. But out of love! ha. I remember when Michael broke up with me, i was in your car. I turned to you and said "uhhm michael just broke up with me" and you were really? I was like yeahh.. what the hell. I read you the messages and you laughed! which actually made the situation better, I didnt ball my eyes out. Well until i got home i didnt. But thats beside the point. You flippen awesome! haha.
Jovan Carston- Yeah, You. You started impacting my life in a good way. But that went down hill, now didnt it? You were thee sweetest person i'd ever met. For the begining i thought i was in love (lust). Then you just drop me off the earth.. You dont talk to me anymore at all. You dont reply to my posts, messages, pokes, NOTHING! So jovan.. was i just another foreign girl you decided to toy with? Ha. Figures. I bet you have a wonderful girlfriend in New Zealand who is way better then me. To bad you didnt meet me.
Sierra Thompson- Your a great friend :) Im sorry i didnt hangout with you much at the begining of this year, or over the summer. I was never here. But i will hangout with you more.You have helped me through alot of things, lady! We have alot of great memories. Even when we move apart i will visit you, i promise! Plus we have cake class together, Hell yeah. haha. And we can still air bend FTW :D I love youu.
Alycia Riley- You have been my friend since 2nd grade. Our friendship has slipped :( I hate that. You were my first best friend. Dont slip away from me k? Your wonderful. You know and so does the world. You have impacted my life for the greater i promise you that. Most of my amazing childhood memories involve you! Remember when we used to go to 7 11 at one am? Or when we would turn radio disney up loud at your moms and dance around? x) Greatest times of my life.
Kyle Williams- Oh gosh. Ha. You caused alot of problems in my life. I remember when i first met you. I was in awe by your gorgeous-ness haaha. But little did i know you were a man whore. You made me the other girl the whole time i knew you. Not once did you wanna date me. Kiss me, yes. But nothing official. You flew through girls like i fly through bacon (faast) and one time you cheated with me. My dumb little sophmore self let you. Oh and i would always come crawling back.. Oh dear, But i dont wanna make you feel bad. You said youve changed. I belive you honestly. People mature.
Carmen Fraijo- My best friend. You've heard this all many times so it not new to you fool :) Your thee greatest person ive ever known. Youve made my life fantastic. Youve influenced me in all the right way. Brought me closer to god. You make me happier when im down. Life wouldnt and wont ever be the same without my best friend by my side. When we move eto portland itll be even greater :D
Kyle Harding- since you probably wont see this then ill let my anger out about you. Your such an ass whole. You flirt with me, tell me you really like me, say were gonna date, kiss me, THEN IGNORE ME! WTF! I hate you with the passion.
Tonya Young- Your so exciting x) hahah. Jimmy like to dance dance dance! I love you :) You are a great friend. Remember when i spent the summer with ya? Hell yeaah! That was awesome. We need to continue to hangout more. More big group sleep overs. Im glad to havve joo in muh life!
Michael L.- Former ex.. You impacted my life both good and terrible. Where shall we start aye? Youll never see this cuz you hate me but i need to say it. One of the funnest relationships ive had yet. We were like a fairy tale couple. haha. yeah... besides the fighting, the alcohol, and the drugs you just loved. You tried sooo dang hard for me to change to suit you didnt you? Did it work? NO! I loved you like no other.. I was in love. In real love. But that quickly changed when you cared more about your weed then your girlfriend and when you wanted to go get shit-faced with the girl you did sexual things with while you were drunk. Smart one. Ha.. Then you acuse me of liking your friends. Yeah calebs cute ill admit that. But no. I wouldnt have cheated on you with your bff. haha. whatever.. Yeah i miss you like hell. I miss all those nights. But ill find someone better..
Mom- Hello madre :) You are so awesome. But i wonder every day why you couldnt have just kept me.. Lifes hell here sometimes.. I need my mom. But i cant have her :/ I also wonder why you kept haylee for a long time but not me at all. Did you try and take care of me? i hope.. I wish i could live with you. But im really glad your sober now mom. It means the world to me that i actually get to know the real you. <3 I love you.
Christian Houser- So, I liked you the moment i stepped foot in Mr. Delorenze's government class. Id catch myself looking at you. I couldnt help myself. So i found you on facebook and we proceeded to talk. Not quite sure what we had going on there.. all i know was i liked you to much. Literally everyday now i make myself almost late to class so i dont have to see you and your gf.. no offence. you deserve to be happy.
Brandon Cowling- Ohh dear. Remember math? I finally got the courage to say hello when we were in the same group. But we never really had anything going on. I liked you, i dont think you liked me. I asked you to a dance... you said you would consider it. So theres my answer you never like liked me.
Brian Kyllo- ha. guess what? I liked you when we had english together. I hated that class but boy were you cute. I tried talking to you on facebook but you ignored me. Now you talk to me though :) Your still cute.. shh.
Sarah Hanson- Since 4th grade youve been there for me. Our friendship started to slip when your mother started to hate me... I remember when we would sit in the sand on the baseball field and dig for shells. Good times. Or when we wanted to send nick that stupid birthday in a bottle? we were rad ;D haha. I miss our friendship. Wish i could get it back.
Caleb Davis- So glad we met. Even though you hardly talk to me.. You took me on some of the greatest adventures of my life. You were a big part of my summer. Remember when we went camping with all those random people and everyone was drunk but us? Thanks :) ha.
Nathan roche- We sooo dated in middle school haha. But now your one of my great friends. I enjoy hanging out with you sooo much you have no idea. haha. You are so funny. Truth is i will probably always have a little crush on you haha.
Christopher Mikkelson- You are like my dream guy.. but less asian xD hahaha. Weve had some realllly fun times, Our avatar skills, Staying out till 3 am, decorating the tree, you wearing my peguin pjs ha. :) So glad i met you.
Colton Mock- bet you knew i liek you all through 8th grade. haha. Your were my crush. Oh dear. haha. When i found you on facebook i was like heck yess! Your still so sweet. But i never talked to you really at CMS. Dont stray away from me, fool.
There are so many more people. This is just part one. <3
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