One word. Means so much. But yet i question if it exists. Does this feeling really exist?
Does it really last? This thign called love. I question it every day. Every night. Why must it be so complicated? I just feel like im a hopelss case when it comes to love.. I start having feelings for someone and they show it back but then suddenly drop me off the face of the earth. It sucks because then im constantly expecting the worst out of guys. I mean i guess its better to just not get your hopes up then to get your hopes up and have them crushed. Wither way im still hurt. You think everythings great but then it all comes crashing down.
XOXOXO <3 brittnee
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Muahahah
I havent posted a blog since Monday?! Gosh.. Was i that busy? Don tyou hate when your weeks are so jam packeed with things to do you almost dont wanna leave the house when you do have free time? ha. I have had liek full time school all week. except monday. I go to high school from 740 to 245, then go to lbcc from 4-520. On Wednesdays i go to lbcc from 6-9. Im not complaining though, it was my choice. Im doing this to A. Graduate B. Get ahead of thee game (: So i wont complain. I still have a life but only on the weekends! Just like every other high school student. but i dont go out and party. Mostly because its albany, there are hardly any "Parties" here. I wouldnt if i got invited probably anyway. Mostly because i see no point in getting drunk and making a fool of myself. But anyway. Today im getting my haircut, not any different from how it is now though. Just shorter :) Ill attempt to post pics on here and facebook. Other then my hair cut im really doing nothing today. Saturday i might hangout with a friend, same with sunday. Oh the short blogs, sorry this one sucks.
XOXOXO <3 Brittnee
XOXOXO <3 Brittnee
Monday, January 24, 2011
Mornings
Mornings,
So bleh.. I stay up to late i guess you could say. But its not always my fault. My thoughts spiral late at night, Things are always on my mind. I try to go to bed early but i just simply cant. I lay there thinking about things of the past and present, sometimes even the future. I sort of have the way i want my future to be planned out in this mind of mine. Now i do realize that it wont turn out as perfect as i may make it in my head but hey its nice to have a plan right? exactly. Now evey morning i wake up (no i dont feel like P Diddy, Thanks for asking Ke$ha) i wake up, Shower, And lay there till i need to get up and get ready. I usually am not in the best mood by then. No its not because i am not a morning person, because i am fine with mornings. Its because i wake up to my grandma nagging and repeating herself. Usually you wake up and you need a few minutes to wake up. Not here! ha. Theres no laying there for 3 minutes to wake up my grandma yells "get up!", "are you up?", "get out of the middle of the bed". Now this continues for about a half an hour before i even need to get up. Fun i know right? No. Anyway! My morning routine is odd. I know this. I get ready, Eat and yes, Check my facebook. I guess you could say im sort of a facebook addict. But i still have a life, I still see the light of day! After checking my facebook i usually get a ride to school and sit there in the library till the bell rings and i walk myself to math. My schedual sucks. Math is okay, im trying my hardest but not really succeeding. Its hard, i know i have people to help me and i do get help. If i wouldnt have sat in the back this wouldnt be a problem. The teacher puts me in the back of the class and my grade slips. I sit in the front now and i never miss an assingment. Ya know how they say the slackers sit in the back? There slackers because when sitting in the back of the class its terribly easy to text, doodle and slack off. Heres where you say "well Brittnee you should disipline yourself" Why dont you try disciplining yourself as a senior in high school at 7:45 in the morning! ha.
Now considering its no longer morning i had no time to finish my blog this morning so im finishing it now! The day went well, I didnt really have any bad stories today. well one but i shouldnt mention it right now. English was fun as always. I love that teacher, She is the greatest person alive! That class is fun because Nick, Thomas and Jeff are in there. Its always entertaining. Theres a boy in there that constantly stares at me. Its okay :) i stare at him to. Sad thing is... well he doesnt wanna be with me. He just wants me if you catch my drift. It sucks because the very minute i saw him i about died. Hes so cuuteee ahh! Oh well life will go on :) I like someone else anyway, Although we havent met yet i still like him already. Okay this shall conclude blog numero 2!
XOXOXO <3 Brittnee
So bleh.. I stay up to late i guess you could say. But its not always my fault. My thoughts spiral late at night, Things are always on my mind. I try to go to bed early but i just simply cant. I lay there thinking about things of the past and present, sometimes even the future. I sort of have the way i want my future to be planned out in this mind of mine. Now i do realize that it wont turn out as perfect as i may make it in my head but hey its nice to have a plan right? exactly. Now evey morning i wake up (no i dont feel like P Diddy, Thanks for asking Ke$ha) i wake up, Shower, And lay there till i need to get up and get ready. I usually am not in the best mood by then. No its not because i am not a morning person, because i am fine with mornings. Its because i wake up to my grandma nagging and repeating herself. Usually you wake up and you need a few minutes to wake up. Not here! ha. Theres no laying there for 3 minutes to wake up my grandma yells "get up!", "are you up?", "get out of the middle of the bed". Now this continues for about a half an hour before i even need to get up. Fun i know right? No. Anyway! My morning routine is odd. I know this. I get ready, Eat and yes, Check my facebook. I guess you could say im sort of a facebook addict. But i still have a life, I still see the light of day! After checking my facebook i usually get a ride to school and sit there in the library till the bell rings and i walk myself to math. My schedual sucks. Math is okay, im trying my hardest but not really succeeding. Its hard, i know i have people to help me and i do get help. If i wouldnt have sat in the back this wouldnt be a problem. The teacher puts me in the back of the class and my grade slips. I sit in the front now and i never miss an assingment. Ya know how they say the slackers sit in the back? There slackers because when sitting in the back of the class its terribly easy to text, doodle and slack off. Heres where you say "well Brittnee you should disipline yourself" Why dont you try disciplining yourself as a senior in high school at 7:45 in the morning! ha.
Now considering its no longer morning i had no time to finish my blog this morning so im finishing it now! The day went well, I didnt really have any bad stories today. well one but i shouldnt mention it right now. English was fun as always. I love that teacher, She is the greatest person alive! That class is fun because Nick, Thomas and Jeff are in there. Its always entertaining. Theres a boy in there that constantly stares at me. Its okay :) i stare at him to. Sad thing is... well he doesnt wanna be with me. He just wants me if you catch my drift. It sucks because the very minute i saw him i about died. Hes so cuuteee ahh! Oh well life will go on :) I like someone else anyway, Although we havent met yet i still like him already. Okay this shall conclude blog numero 2!
XOXOXO <3 Brittnee
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The first.
Well my first blog aye?
This should be easy... NOT. What am i supposed to say exactly on here?
Hmm So basically Im this 17 year old girl who has had a hard life. I live with my grandmother who is just not the nicest person in the world. She is at the age where everything makes her angry, and she always thinks your doing something wrong. Yay, i know right? No. Well anyway my father is in jail and will be in there till august. Nothing new to me. His been in jail all my life off and on and i didnt even meet him till i was in the fifth grade. So its not like i REALLY knew him. My mom is in a drug recovery house :) This is a very good thing. Shes recovering from her drug problems. This means alot to me. I never got to know my real parents and i dont mean they arent my real parents but i mean i never knew the REAL them. I knew them on drugs. I still dont know my dad for real, i am just now getting to know the real mom. The real mom is better then the mom on drugs! The real mom is the sweetest person i know, she cares about her kids more then anything, Drugs don't matter and she has goals in her life. But you see this man i am supposed to call dad, really isnt. He signs all my cards as Shawn, No not dad, Shawn. Talking to him is like talking to a new person, like meeting the new kid. Awkward and a lot of silence. He just doesnt understand me and my life. He hasnt been there for it so how can he? He can surely try though, that would be nice. Anyway, I have a sister and a brother. I know its rude of me to say but i dont favor my sister. She is loud and rude. When i try to connect with her she uses it against me. Ill try and talk to her about life and she'll rat me out for the things that ive said. I try and joking around with her and she cant take a joke. Hence why ive quit trying! I have a brother, Who is so adorable!! Hes thee cutest child ive ever seen :) He has an attitude but he's 2 so what can i expect right? If youve wondered where my grandpa fits into this well ill tell you. My grandpa died last year, He, in my mind was the only person who believed in me and understood me. He never accused me of doing terrible things i wasnt doing. He encouraged me to do my best, to graduate, to be the greatest person i could ever be. Now that he's gone its hard to be happy and motivated. But i am. I am doing this for not only me but my grandfather. Life isnt the same but i have to stay strong. <3
Other then my family life im generally a fun person to be around. I am very loving i guess you could say. Maybe to loving in some ways. I have lots of friends whom except me for me. My current best best friend is Carmen Fraijo. She is the reason i have a religion. She has made me see god :) I dont know what i'd do with out her honestly. We have so much fun when hanging out! Its crazy! haha. I have other best friends to :) Sierra Thompson, Tonya Young, Alycia Riley, Jeff Camerena, Nick Estis, and even Grant Henderson (even though drama has happened). They all mean so much to me. Now theres a few other people in my life who mean the world to me. Daniel Rodriguez, You sir, are amazing. I feel so completely comfortable around you. I can tell you anything and you wont judge me. You cheer me up through the hard times, and show me good music :) I am thankful to haev you as a friend. Jovan Carston, where do i begin. You are so absolutly fantastic, i cant even think of words to explain you. You get it all. You may be busy and unable to talk alot but i still love you :) You let me make fun of your accent, You laugh with me and help me through those dumb life problems i have. You mustn't leave my life.
anyway now that ive lagged you all on... Thats me in a nut shell :)
XOXOX <3
-Brittnee
This should be easy... NOT. What am i supposed to say exactly on here?
Hmm So basically Im this 17 year old girl who has had a hard life. I live with my grandmother who is just not the nicest person in the world. She is at the age where everything makes her angry, and she always thinks your doing something wrong. Yay, i know right? No. Well anyway my father is in jail and will be in there till august. Nothing new to me. His been in jail all my life off and on and i didnt even meet him till i was in the fifth grade. So its not like i REALLY knew him. My mom is in a drug recovery house :) This is a very good thing. Shes recovering from her drug problems. This means alot to me. I never got to know my real parents and i dont mean they arent my real parents but i mean i never knew the REAL them. I knew them on drugs. I still dont know my dad for real, i am just now getting to know the real mom. The real mom is better then the mom on drugs! The real mom is the sweetest person i know, she cares about her kids more then anything, Drugs don't matter and she has goals in her life. But you see this man i am supposed to call dad, really isnt. He signs all my cards as Shawn, No not dad, Shawn. Talking to him is like talking to a new person, like meeting the new kid. Awkward and a lot of silence. He just doesnt understand me and my life. He hasnt been there for it so how can he? He can surely try though, that would be nice. Anyway, I have a sister and a brother. I know its rude of me to say but i dont favor my sister. She is loud and rude. When i try to connect with her she uses it against me. Ill try and talk to her about life and she'll rat me out for the things that ive said. I try and joking around with her and she cant take a joke. Hence why ive quit trying! I have a brother, Who is so adorable!! Hes thee cutest child ive ever seen :) He has an attitude but he's 2 so what can i expect right? If youve wondered where my grandpa fits into this well ill tell you. My grandpa died last year, He, in my mind was the only person who believed in me and understood me. He never accused me of doing terrible things i wasnt doing. He encouraged me to do my best, to graduate, to be the greatest person i could ever be. Now that he's gone its hard to be happy and motivated. But i am. I am doing this for not only me but my grandfather. Life isnt the same but i have to stay strong. <3
Other then my family life im generally a fun person to be around. I am very loving i guess you could say. Maybe to loving in some ways. I have lots of friends whom except me for me. My current best best friend is Carmen Fraijo. She is the reason i have a religion. She has made me see god :) I dont know what i'd do with out her honestly. We have so much fun when hanging out! Its crazy! haha. I have other best friends to :) Sierra Thompson, Tonya Young, Alycia Riley, Jeff Camerena, Nick Estis, and even Grant Henderson (even though drama has happened). They all mean so much to me. Now theres a few other people in my life who mean the world to me. Daniel Rodriguez, You sir, are amazing. I feel so completely comfortable around you. I can tell you anything and you wont judge me. You cheer me up through the hard times, and show me good music :) I am thankful to haev you as a friend. Jovan Carston, where do i begin. You are so absolutly fantastic, i cant even think of words to explain you. You get it all. You may be busy and unable to talk alot but i still love you :) You let me make fun of your accent, You laugh with me and help me through those dumb life problems i have. You mustn't leave my life.
anyway now that ive lagged you all on... Thats me in a nut shell :)
XOXOX <3
-Brittnee
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